Here's a story....
Recent Saturday night. Get ready to go out, take a lot of time on my hair, try not to get too discouraged when I don't love how it turns out. Pick out an outfit I've been excited to wear for a while, a vintage purple silk jumpsuit paired with a ton of ghetto gold and some heels. Checking my self out in the mirror and feeling pretty good about myself. Head out for the evening. Fast forward 12 hours to when I get a look at the photos documenting the evening and all my self esteem goes right out the window. How can I feel so good about an outfit when clearly on film I look like a fat cow?
This story isn't unique to that particular Saturday or even to just me. So many beautiful, awesome women I know have crazy body image issues and we are so hard on ourselves about them. My self consciousness about the way I look sometimes actually prevents me from just letting go and having a good time. If there's a camera around I'm more concerned with how I'll look in a picture then just enjoying the moment. I was recently reading my dear friend Olivia's blog talking about how critical she is of her cellulite but at the same time gives props to ladies that don't let a little cellulite dictate their fashion choices. See when I look her I see a total babe with a body to die for. I'm jealous of her flat stomach and nice rack. I hate that we notice flaws about ourselves that others barely pay attention to.
This has got me thinking why can't we accept our bodies they way they are? I talk a lot about self acceptance but always seem to revert back to being overly critical of myself, it's completely ridiculous! I can think about acceptance just fine, it's feeling it that's the trouble. I know that this is the body I have and while I can workout and be healthy there are some features that aren't going to change. Since this is the case I need to feel appreciative of what I was born with everyday instead of just sometimes! Instead of finding flaws first I need to start with finding what's positive about a picture or outfit or whatever! The problem is this is easier said than done; I wish it was as easy as flipping a switch in my brain. Alas, I think it will take a bit more effort than that...can anyone say affirmations?!
I don't know what the tipping point was but the obsession over the celebrity has reached a level of grossness that I don't want to be a part of. I have always been a fan of pop culture but celebrity culture has become too wrapped up in pop culture. I sit at a desk all day long and it's hard not to follow the world of celebrities. But I've had enough!
The term celebrity has also taken on a new and disgusting definition. People used to become famous for being talented (actor, singer, athlete) or sometimes being a politician, or the wife or child of a politician led to fame (the Kennedy's). With that fame came some kind of responsibility to try and behave in a certain way, not that olden timey day celebrities were perfect but they were held to higher standards then the "celebrities" of today. These days it seems almost anyone can become famous and for doing almost anything, look at the Kardashians. They are everywhere, but why? Has the whole family has become famous because of Kim Kardashian's ass and sex tape, really? Now they have a reality show, a line of clothes, a line of weight loss products and probably a whole bunch of other stuff. It's weird!
Back in the 60s John F Kennedy was forever cheating on his wife and the press didn't cover it. Even more unbelievable is that even though Franklin Roosevelt was basically paralyzed from polio he was never photographed in a wheelchair. That just would not happen today. We've seen what happens in today's world...can anyone say impeachment hearing? Today JFKs mistresses would be all over the media! There would be new stories and photo spreads, they would become "famous." I imagine FDRs handicap would have made it impossible for him to become Pres but if he was elected he would be photographed, ridiculed and the Rush Limbaugh's of the world would talk shit about if it made him a better/worse leader.
Today we are bombarded with celebrity bullshit all day every day. There are gossip blogs that spend their days talking smack about celebrities - perez hilton has gone so far as to call certain celebries babies ugly. These websites often use painful experiences that people have (drug addiction, infidelity) and make money off of it. It is disgusting and it makes me feel really bad for famous people. Paparazzi follows celebrities around, often creating dangerous situations, just for a picture of Jessica Alba going grocery shopping. It seems so intrusive...
But wait! Because at the same time these gossip blogs are spreading rumors the celebrities themselves are over sharing their lives on Facebook and twitter. It's so weird! I can find out what Puff Daddy, Ashton Kutcher and Nicole Richie are doing every second of every day. There is a milkshake shop in Hollywood that got all this "press" and all these celebrities to create milkshakes; there's a Miley Cyrus shake and a Pamela Anderson vegan shake. Well this shop is actually owned by a member of the paparazzi. Yuck.
Well I say enough is enough! Let's live our own lives. Let's want to look up to people for creating positive change in the world not for creating a reality show or sex tape. The only way that these people will cease to exist is if we stop going to the websites or buying the mags! Oprah has a no texting while driving campaign well I want to start a no celebrity gossip blogs while working campaign...who's with me!
Here's a question I wish I would've taken a little bit more serious.....What do you want to be when you grow up? When you're a kid this question is asked of you all the time and given that the world is still your oyster answers like "I either want to be president, an actress, a doctor or a Jazzercise teacher" are all totally acceptable answers. As you get a little older we are expected to narrow down these choices and eventually (and by eventually I mean by the end of college) have it figured out. So much pressure!
So what if you don't figure it out? Well that's the question I'm trying to answer. It seems so daunting to try and figure out the future. My life is passing me by and I still haven't found any kind of field I want to throw myself into. (If only I could I find a career that involves getting paid to give people my opinions that would be perfect! I'm super good at that already and I really like it. If anyone knows of a job like that; PLEASE let me know!) Sure I have a lot of things I'm interested in: marketing, PR, public policy, buying, trend forecasting, sportscasting just to name a few, but I feel equally as interested in all of them. I'm generally an indecisive person but this is beyond indecisive. The stress of not knowing "what I want to be when I grow up" has begun to feel like a pre-pre-mid life crisis.
So I thought maybe I should revisit the options of my youth...
I'm totally down to be President but besides the fact that I'm unsure I could handle the pressure of leading the free world not to mention the fact I have a feeling my past would get in the way....damn skeletons! All those fun times in High School would come back to bite me!
So maybe I should look into acting. I could be an actress, I do have a flair for the dramatic! However the best thing about being an actress would be to win a Oscar and since I've already held an Oscar I guess I can retire before I've even started...?
Alright, next on the list is becoming a doctor! Um...I don't think I could be a doctor now. I basically failed High School chemistry so I'm not really off to a good start. And I wouldn't graduate and be ready to be an actual doctor until I was like 150 years old! BUT I could be an actress who plays a doctor on TV! That would sort of be like killing 2 birds with 1 stone, right? Too bad George Clooney isn't still on ER...oh and that ER isn't a show anymore.
Well that leaves Jazzercise! It's really too bad there's no more Jazzercise anymore because I would love to do that. The outfits alone are to die for! I LOVED my mom's Jazzercise teacher so much I think I went as her for Halloween once. Today I'd have to become either a yogi or a pilates instructor or I guess I could teach stripper aerobics. None of those options sound that great. I don't think kids want to be a yoga instructor for Halloween as the outfit is boring; and if a child has the opportunity to see what a stripper instructor is wearing then we have so many other problems!
I guess I really just need to remember how happy I was as a little girl with all the options I had in front of me. Life was still an adventure and the unknown wasn't as scary as it seems to be today. The future was something to be excited about not something to be stressed over. I know I will find my path in life, my journey might longer than I want it to be, but I have to remember that's ok!
Has anyone else been curious as to h0w Lil Wayne is fairing in prison? I personally have been thinking about what must be a painful detox from the weed and the sizzurp. I can only imagine that they don't allow sizzurp in prison but even if they did the weed detox alone would be brutal. And it begs the question, what would a clear headed Weezy sound like? Well thankfully we no longer have to wonder because it appears as if he's blogging! I am choosing to believe it's actually him and not some PR person, even though let's be real, I don't think Weezy has a good grasp on things like grammar. Here's hoping the blog gets a bit more exciting and we can peak inside his craziness!
They started out so little! Herman and Matilda, the sweetest cutest kittens siblings ever. They were rescue kittens and the ASPCA makes you adopt kittens in pairs; everyone wants a buddy right? 
Herman has turned into a huge majestic man cat. He's extremely handsome, a bit of a couch hog, a bit of a bully and a total scaredy cat (no pun intended)! He hides in the shower whenever he hears a loud scary noise. 
Matilda has turned into quite the supermodel! She has the face of an angel but don't mess with her! She's very ladylike and a bit of a snob. Just like any good model she loves make up and sadly has a bit of a weight issue.
This little girl was skinny and dirty and her whiskers were totally uneven but she was so cute and spunky I had to take her in. She captured my heart immediately, and while an effort was made to find her a new home I think she knew we belonged together.
Eliza Doolittle has had no trouble fitting right in! Even though she's the littlest she basically runs the show and bosses the other 2 around.
Herman has definitely accepted his new little sister. They are homies. Matilda on the other hand has no time for another bitch up in her area. They have yet to really bond.
Herman was nice enough to also wear a tee shirt while his sister was convalescing. He's a nice big brother aka it's super funny and awesome to put him in a tee shirt!
